Battle Of The Fin(n)s: The Law vs. The Military

In our previous Battle Of The Fin(n)s, Detective Odafin Tutuola fended off Meadow Soprano ex-BF Finn DeTrolio to retain his Fin(n) title. But another ex-BF -- a Buffy ex-BF -- is about to take the field. Can fallen Initiative hero Riley Finn defeat New York's finest?

Once again, our original set of metrics applies, so I've stuck with those. Which Fin(n) will prevail: the army's, or the law's?

Let's get into it.

Who has more bad-boy appeal?

Once more, as they say, with feeling: "Fin Tutuola is a cop, but spent years undercover in Narcotics/Vice, and has a walks-the-walk cool about him -- better rapport with certain perps, more convincingly scary with others."

Riley Finn, meanwhile, as about as much bad-boy appeal as a corndog. He's a country-serving, fatigues-wearing Iowan who does his best to obey orders; when he discovers the corruption of those in charge, he leaves the service. I liked the guy more than most -- or thought Marc Blucas was foxier, anyway -- but the entire point of Riley Finn on Buffy is that he isn't bad, and when he tries to get dark by letting vampires feed on him, it comes off more pathetic than bad.

Winner: Fin.

Whose hairstyle has shown the biggest improvement?

Fin's erstwhile little braid is not something I'd be searching OKCupid profiles for or anything, but he wore it well; ditto the current coif.

Riley's never changed much, and looked about as good as it could given that Blucas has a head the size of a Christmas goose, but in his final appearance in Season 6's "As You Were," he sports a modified Caesar that isn't very flattering.

Winner: Fin.

Whose love life is in less of a shambles?

Fin's marriage -- to an emotionally fragile hypocrite who gave birth to a sociopath and hid the fact for decades -- ended because of his undercover work and resulting neglect of his family. He's also catnip to the ex-wives of ex-partners, which is not his fault but still makes things complicated.

Riley had emasculation issues with his girlfriend's super-strength and totemic status, and did not express those productively, basically cheating on Buffy with the primetime equivalent of the writhing mattress vamps from Bram Stoker's Dracula. But I seem to recall feeling at the time -- though I don't think we're supposed to -- that Buffy kinda had that coming. He splits town to take a new assignment and by the time he comes back to town, he's married. I don't think we're supposed to like her, either, but the marriage is functional enough to continue into the canonical graphic novels.

No doubt Fin is doing just fine for himself, but in the absence of evidence either way…

Winner: Riley.

Who's a better audience surrogate?

This is a pretty easy one. As you know, I added a whole category to the SVU Show-o-Matic to commemorate Fin's frequent and delightful variations on a theme of "you're a jackhole" and "get bent."

Riley does get sick of Buffy's distant BS and leave town, which is a commentary of sorts, but it's usually Spike -- and usually on the subject of Riley -- who speaks for us, at least during Season 5.

Winner: Fin.

Who gets along better with colleagues?

Fin is not the cuddliest co-worker, but tends to reserve his irritation for Munch (won't stop with the conspiracy theories) and anger-mismanagement consultants like Stabler and Amaro, so perhaps his prickliness is justified.

Riley is, well, a good soldier, until he's morally obligated not to be. His involvement with Buffy is not very professional, strictly speaking, but you can't say he doesn't get along with her, and he's the only one of Buffy's love interests Xander doesn't despise.

Winner: Riley.

Who's less likely to get aired out?

Fin's a police detective, Riley's in a black-ops unit; I'd call those equally high-risk professions. Fin nearly died in a shooting, but while angry parolees and crazed suspects (and Amaro doing something hotheaded) are always a concern, he's probably safe unless Dick Wolf needs to cut payroll.

Riley, meanwhile, is dealing with the supernatural: vampires, demons, vengeful gods, dark magic, Marti Noxon during sweeps, the works. A shootout is one thing; a pack of werewolves is another.

Winner: Fin.

The Victor

I thought Riley Finn got a bad rap, back in the day; Blucas made the best of a thankless job in a multi-season arc that didn't work out the way the writers probably planned, playing a role that in the end was about making a point.

But his hair and his comebacks are just okay, and while he's underrated, he's no Tutuola.

Winner: Fin.

Next Time: Fin faces off against a Finn from Glee, Young Americans, or The Good Wife! Stay tuned to find out which one, and who wins!